Disengaging the Trauma Drama within Our Relationships

The depths of our connections lie in the willingness and commitment to swim deep.
-Taylor Riner-

A huge part of the Collective alignment and spiritual ascension process lies in the ability for us to heal our bonds and connections, and to mend the union between the divine masculine and divine feminine – both within us and around us.

I was pondering on the conversation around trauma bonding and the wounded inner child this evening, and how this heavily impacts some of the games we engage in within our relationships.

Why is it that we continue to perpetuate old cycles and old wounds, deeming it as true love and masking over the distortions with excuses?

Why are we constantly defending poor behavior and classifying our partners as resisting their awakening and saying, “They know not what they do”?

No one is to blame for this constant back and forth and the unhealthy dances we dance with others – we know not what we do.

But, in saying that, I am not relinquishing the responsibility and duty we all carry to address our triggers and cyclical patterns of unloving behaviors. There’s no excuse for continuing to say sorry and continue to not live in a space of integrity towards ourselves and the ones we care about.

As I pondered on trauma bonds and the inner child, how we excuse our partner’s and other’s behaviors, and then how we criticize ourselves and keep our minds on a loop of “what can I do to be better and keep others around?”… 

It hit me! We are continuously trying to re-parent the wounded inner child within others!

When you are highly sensitive and aware, you can sense and see the inner child within others. You can understand where their patterns stemmed from, and you can easily interact with your partner as if they are still a child who is wounded.

We constantly try to save, soothe, and coo to the wounded inner child of others. But we end up neglecting and rejecting our own inner child in the process. Why do you think you feel rejected and abandoned by your partner when you are trying to fix things and make them happy with you again?

You abandoned and rejected your inner child.

Again, this is not a guilt or blame show – it’s an acknowledgment of the fact that your inner child needs you to be its parent. And their inner child needs them to re-parent their inner child.

You can’t be held responsible for the work that others need to do. You can’t make them feel more safe, more trusting, more loving, and more secure. If they aren’t willing to be the responsible and trusting adult for their inner child, there’s nothing you can do to make things better within your connection.

Both parties in a connection have to choose to show up for themselves and the connection. When one person is showing up and the other person is in and out constantly – we end up in more of a trauma bond than an authentic bond.

It’s time to be honest with ourselves and take the authentic look at our patterns and the perpetuated trauma cycles between ourselves and others. Is it worth your time and energy to continue trying to parent the inner child of another? Is it making your inner child feel safe? Is it making you feel at peace?

Are we becoming so addicted to healing trauma that we keep going back to external situations for more trauma drama?

We want conscious relationships. We want to be a willing participant with another willing participant in our relationships. We want a relationship that is abundant, full of integrity, and one that includes two parties who choose to show up for themselves as well as the relationship.

If we want these things, why do we continue to agree and say yes to trauma bonds and continuous trauma cycles? If we want authentic relationships, all we have to do is ask and allow illusions and misaligned patterns and connections to fall out of our energetic field.

Just because someone is your twin flame doesn’t give anyone the right to feel entitled to do or show up however they want. If someone is not going to show up fully for themselves, for God/Source, or for you – why would you want to continue consenting to that energy and timeline?

Honor them and the sacred union by honoring yourself and Source. Honor and respect yourself by consenting to the highest vibrational timeline. Disengage from trauma because it begins to come down to not having integrity with yourself, your Soul, and your inner child.

Choose to have integrity towards yourself and watch as your whole life re-aligns back to you.

Will it be perfect all the time? No. But will you attract abundance, no matter if you are grieving, angry, sad, stressed, or feeling lost? Absolutely! 

Don’t listen to law of attraction and the positive mindset movement – you attract abundance through alignment. And you can be in alignment and be in a space of grieving at the same time. 

I am not telling you what to do, I am just asking you to consider yourself for a moment. 

We are headed towards a new year and a new decade, and it’s time to discontinue old patterns of struggle.

Pain is inevitable, but struggling is a choice. 

Do what you are called to do from the highest aspects of yourself. Grieve. Cry. Embrace sacred rage. But show your inner child that it is safe to just be – emoting, playing, laughing, crying, resisting, whatever.

Protect your inner child, and allow others to do the same for theirs.

Be okay with only parenting yourself. Be okay if others choose not to be the parent to their inner child and self. 

I love you all!

Taylor Riner

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